Friends

Friends.  Where would we be without those special people in our lives that share our joys and our sorrows, support and encourage us, understand us and accept us unconditionally?

I was recently asked to teach our teen girls the value of friendship.  I thought at first how ironic, I don’t feel that I have very many “friends”.  I soon realized my job here was to show these girls how to be a friend. Friendship is not measured by how many “friends” you have. True Friendship is a rare relationship that one could only hope to find in their lifetime.

Everyone longs for friends. It is the second most basic relationship in life. Jesus said that the two most important commandments are to love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. We often experience God's love through the love of a friend. 

Jesus chose twelve men to be with him. Not only were they chosen to build the kingdom of God but for companionship as well. I am sure He had things on his mind that he needed an ear. We all need that extra support sometime or another.

What makes a good friend?

*Faithfulness.

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 27:10 - Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you - better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.  One of the greatest friendships in the Bible was that of David and Jonathan. When Jonathan's father, King Saul hated David so much that he wanted to kill him, Jonathan protected David. I Samuel 20:30-33

Even with the loss of his future kingship, his relationship with his father, and the potential loss of life, Jonathan remained loyal to David. Their friendship was like a threefold cord with God. 

Do you drive your friends close to God?

*Forgiveness 

Proverbs 20:22 - Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

Trust.
Proverbs 11:13 - A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

As a friend you’ll know details and secrets of your friend’s life. True friends put the needs of a friend before their own need to keep the friendship

Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted.

Proverbs 27:9 - The pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

We all need someone who will tell us the truth in a loving way. It is hard to grow without the help of our friends. It's never easy, but when you must tell someone the truth, use this approach: speak calmly, clearly, directly, honestly and respectfully. This is how Jesus would confront someone.

*Unselfishness.

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all time.

Proverbs 18:1 - A unfriendly man pursues selfish ends.

Choose our friends carefully. 

Proverbs 12:26 - The Righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray

Jesus said, I have called you friends. John 15:15.

How does Jesus treat us? That's our best example of what makes a good friend.

The definition of a true friend comes from the Apostle Paul: "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8).

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13). 

(Love that verse.)

Now, that is true friendship!