Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Frazzled at 3 am

I couldn't sleep so I started listening to some Christian contemporary music. Anything so that I couldn't hear the thoughts in my head of worthlessness, rejection, unattractive, friendless, hopeless, lost, and trapped. I am a child of God. I know the Truth but it is just so much easier to lay there, agree and waller in self pitty. 

I started reading anything I could get my hands on. I thought that might put me to sleep. I read how a girl felt her problems pale in comparison to what others may be going through. "I hesitate to even speak of them. I feel they are so trivial - until I freeze and I feel trapped, unable to create any movement in my life.." That is how I feel right now. Stuck like the world is passing me by and I am just standing there watching in a blur. 

It doesn't matter why you freeze and feel trapped but it does matter that you feel this way! If it's about you then it is important to God!

 “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”  Mark 6:31 (NIV)

I have felt like I have crashed because I didn't take the time to rest from daily living. Even God understands we need some time to ourselves to rest and be refilled.

"For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly" Philippians 3:10 (AMP)

Dear Jesus, I long to enter into Your rest. I've never thought of You rejoicing over ME. Help me believe this truth. Teach me more about Your love and help me make the determined choice to grow my love for You. I do love You.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Here Goes!

Well I have decided to share the real me. I am a child of God, however I am far from perfect. I hope through this blog, we will connect in some way. There are situations and feelings that we all go through or feel at one time or another. I plan on being transparent and sharing them with you. If you don't share your thoughts how will you ever be able to lead by example. I will be pulling out journal entries from my past to share. Even though I may have made it through that valley, someone else may be going through it now.